Creating Thriving Relationships

Today we’re gonna be talking about relationships, not just a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, good friend, great friend, used to be my friend kind of relationships, we’re going to be running the gambit and talking about what makes relationships last the test of time and what makes them break up and why are some, you know, in an interesting place where others aren’t okay. The first thing I want to do is I want to start off with a rampage of appreciation. I haven’t done these in a while. So I think it’s the time when I want to appreciate today are the resources that stand before me that helped me do everything that I knew. And you have to somewhere in your life, the things that really contribute to you being your best.

The people the technology, the infrastructure of technology, the land, the highways, the roadways that bring a certain places that we take for granted. There’s so many things about us that we take for granted that we don’t realize contribute to our greatness. Obviously, we’ve cultivated ourselves but the world has cultivated an environment that we can really thrive in an environment that we can build and build well. We speak to these devices and technology helpful when they are somebody who’s ingenuity and creativity laid the groundwork so that what we do on a day to day basis, is easier. We’re talking about relationships. So what do I mean, when I use the term relationships, I understand what’s commonly held. But today I want to talk about what I mean.

And when I use the term relationship, I’m talking about how the word is broken down relation ship is the state of relating now in our lives and other’s lives, we can examine that there’s seasons of relationships, there’s times when individuals are closer together. And there’s times which take them apart. And over that time, the ability to relate is key and how exactly, they even view the health of that relationship. Relationships are not static, they’re always emotional, because it’s going across time. And we grow, we expand and we shift our own personal interest as well, through all the different myriad of life experiences that come with Grove, and ad, right. And there’s always core components that bring people together to relate their shared values and shared experiences.

And nothing is more bonding and creating of a new relationship than a shared experience. And as I said earlier, you’re either moving closer together or closer apart. At its highest connection deep. The width of connectivity is so narrow that you feel that you are one with that person. And in love, you know that feeling. And at its furthest point, you feel that you can’t relate with them anymore. And it’s as wide as it can be. So imagine across seasons coming together moving apart and some things happening in your lives that are creating more of a connection or less of a connection. And each type of relationship friend, mate, spouse or co workers have that threshold that if we crossed that line of an inability to relay then it the relationships either broken or it’s on the brink of breaking.

And when we look in our relationships from that perspective, we start to see why some of our relationships have just withered away over the years, and why other relationships are still strong and vital. It’s an interesting thing when you look at relationships most of the people that are in my circle, you know they they mirror my values they mirror my ambition through my examine And I found that there’s within relationships, levels to the relationship. My most healthy relationships are that relating that active that right here in the present relationship, I have other relationships where, you know, the core of what holds us together happened in the past. And you also have others where the core of your relationship is about what you’re going to do.

Now, either completely relating to the past, the college years, the times when we were kids, when life was good, all those those aren’t necessarily relating with the President. And it’s really dangerous when you don’t relate with the President. And the ones that relate to foreign to the future, don’t really have a substance that really holds you present in the moment. Now my active really great relationships is that hybrid between relating with the present, and what are you doing, how’s life going? How’s this project you were telling me about, you know, all these little things that talk about right now. And then we can relate with the past and our own ambitions for the future. So I challenge you to examine a couple of your key relationships and ask yourself, are we relating too much into the past?

Are when we’re on the phone, or we’re face to face? Are we only dredging up stories of our glory times or of a time when we were younger and more vital and active or something like that. And then also ask yourself, Is this one of the Future Focus relationships as well, because both of those present challenges because, you know, it’s now it’s an engagement now is now there stuff that you’re doing is creating a great experience now. And if what you’re doing now isn’t necessarily really vital, and enlivening you, then it’s time to really examine what you’re doing, or why you’re not sharing it. To quote Einstein, one of my favorite quotes of Einstein isn’t even about science of physics. He says, eloquently, that men marry women hoping that they won’t change.

And women marry men with the hope that they will change. Invariably, they’re both disappointed. I bring this up to even continue to talk about relationships, the basis of life is change its growth as expansion. It’s about taking an idea and making it into a large livable space, a livable space, not only with the material aspects, but with the state, the vibe energy. And as individuals we’re growing, where we’re expanding our core beliefs are most most of them staying the same, but the expression and and diversity of how we can express that are growing and elevating. And we’re letting go old ideas that no longer serve us that we’re taking in new ideas that make our life more enriching, and rewarding. So to think that, I am going to change the image that you perceive me to want to be at or that I want you to stay static, as this perfect image across time.

And they’re both pretty senseless. And we seen relationships, especially marriages, that you know, maybe a couple, they have a child, then they completely relate with the child and forget to relate with each other. Once the child goes out of the house, they have to learn themselves as it means to be in relationship with each other. Again, sometimes that ends in divorce. And then the parents have an empty nest syndrome because there was no interdependence with themselves that whole time. And then you have other couples who still have their date nights, who, who make sure that they’re constantly in love with each other. And one of the things that I recognize not only in my mate relationships, but my friend relationships is that you are going to grow, life is going to allow you to have all these great experiences that are going to continue to present you with challenges that expand you.

And if I if I am making an error if I choose to relate with who you were, who I want you to be instead of relate with who you are right now. Now my vision of you is this highest and best person and I will champion for that highest and best person, but at the same time I have to communicate with you through the now a couple of days ago I made a quote where I said the canvas that we paint on isn’t yesterday and isn’t tomorrow. It is now the canvas that we paint on is now and you can’t paint on your Today is Canvas and you can’t paint on tomorrow’s Canvas, you have to paint on today’s Canvas the canvas of now. And understanding relationships is the i n g movement.

And when I say ing movement, what I’m talking about is the active, active state of relating of making, making relating anything with ing means that your hands are in the clay of it now, and all relationships that are vital that are thriving, is dealing with the now. So looking at your life, look at your friendships, look at your parents, look at your siblings, look at your co workers if you can’t relate with them. And that is the find a point to where both of you meet on a plane of whatever subject we’re talking about is, and there’s an interchange, there’s a shared values, there is a a back and forth movement of flow of ideas, and experiences. And that’s what relationships are. That’s what they are.

And that’s what they can be. And so as we look into our relationships, if they’re not necessarily in a place we wanted to be, how can I relate what you now. And an interesting note, I remember early in my mate relationship, I was doing all these unique and wonderful things for my girlfriend. And I would hear the rumbling like, Hey, you’re, it’s a, it’s a marathon, it’s not a sprint. And my idea was like, I can do a million different things to keep a smile on this person’s face. The reason why is because I can relate with you each moment. The things that we talked about yesterday, the things that we talked about last month, and things that we talked about last night, or this morning, I can put my own remix on it, therefore showing that I can relate with you that I’m listening to you that I’m engaged in your success that I’m engaged in your life.

So relationship implies a level of engagement, were either giving it or not. And the health of our relationship is going to really be determined by that level of engagement, that level of relatedness. And we all have it within our means to kick it out of the park. And or just let them go because you’re no longer related with somebody. So it’s not a bad thing if you no longer are relating with somebody. And it’s not necessarily a productive a great day. What I’m talking about are the dynamics of relationships, try to ask yourself, if this is something that I want to cherish even more, how can I relate more with fat, be like I said, a coworker, or friend, or anybody in our last debt we’d want to relate with.

So this has been another episode of halftime talks. The subject of today’s talk, is relationships. I appreciate everybody who’s been listening. We’ve been on a run lately with a lot of great episodes. And we have more episodes of store.