---
title: "Nobody Really Cares About Your Story"
description: "For anyone tempted to lead with the reasons it was harder for them."
author: "Rahim Rasul"
type: "Podcast episode"
series: "Halftime Talks"
episode: 137
published: "2017-08-01"
duration: "13 min"
theme: "Reps and effort"
tags: "hard work, fairness, privilege, excuses, performance"
audio: "https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/rahimrasul/HTT_137_NobodyReallyCares.mp3?dest-id=175061"
url: "https://iloveprocess.com/halftime/nobody-really-cares-about-your-story/"
site: "I Love Process"
---

# Nobody Really Cares About Your Story

_For anyone tempted to lead with the reasons it was harder for them._

**The question:** Is your story an excuse, or fuel in your tank?

Listen: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/rahimrasul/HTT_137_NobodyReallyCares.mp3?dest-id=175061

## Before you listen

Far too often we can enumerate our shortcomings but fail to rally around our strengths with equal conviction. Everything may not be even, but it is fair. When it comes time to measure performance, the stories of inequity fly out the window. Every road to success requires a climb, and some climbs are steeper than others.

I found myself telling a few young people that nobody really cares, and listening back, I don't sound like the classic Rahim. Take Bob and Jim, two junior varsity players. Bob plays summer ball at the YMCA. Jim's parents send him to a basketball camp in Honolulu, and he comes back miles ahead of Bob.

Listen for the turn near the end, where the story you carry becomes fuel in your tank, and what looked like a disadvantage becomes your advantage.

## From the talk

> At the end of the day, we are judged by what we can put on a chessboard, the game that we can play, the product we put on the table.
>
> Early on, it may look like a disadvantage, but it is your ultimate advantage if you learn how to utilize it and harness it.
>
> Stop comparing yourself to other people's wealth, stop comparing yourself to other people's privilege, stop looking to be pitied or felt sorry for and use it as your advantage.

## Sit with this

- Is it fair that Jim is starting over you? Independent of what made that possible? Is it fair?

## Transcript

Lately, I've been chatting it up with a few youth. I see a lot of potential there at this Apex point in their life going forward beginning to craft what will become not only their life, but their career, their life's work to passionate they wake up and engage the world in some direction of action. And I found myself spilling the concept that nobody really cares. And like I said in the intro, that sounds so glass half empty. That doesn't even sound positive. But we live in a world where participation trophies don't really count no matter how many of them want to be distributed. What I've come to understand over time is everybody has a story. Everybody has a unique reason they are the way they are, be it their parents, be it their grandparents, be it society, be it our country, be it race be a gender be it sexuality.

There's so many list of reasons why we may have dysfunction. I want to say earlier this year I was in a conversation with somebody and I said our coping mechanisms as children become psychological disorders as adults and that's pretty harsh. And I I don't sound like the classic Rahim when i i listen to myself say this, but I'm ultimately in the game of law. Nobody cares about your story. Be at the highest privileged individual in their minds, they still had to climb, be it a smaller ladder, or a larger ladder of climb is a climb somebody who gets into school based upon merits, doesn't understand or have empathy to the climb that you took to get there, regardless of the performance. So I began telling this very passionate story about two junior varsity basketball players, one started, and other was decent, say, Bob and Jim.

So Bob started and he knew by the end of the year, not only was he going to be on varsity, but he was going to have the chance to start on varsity the next year. And so he played ball in the summertime with some kids older than him and was continuing to improve. Jim on the other hand, he was a mediocre player, but his parents saw that he loved basketball, and his parents sent him all the way to the beautiful island of Honolulu for five star NBA training camp for basketball players. And so Bob and Jim, come back to school, different and improved players. And it was crazy because Jim's parents spent like at least 15,000 on his camp, where Bob was just at the YMCA, playing with kids his age younger and a little bit older.

So as tryouts go, not only does Jim make Varsity, but he is miles ahead of Bob. I would have a question for Bob. Bob, Is this fair? Is it fair that Jim is starting over you? Independent of what made that possible? Is it fair? Well, may not sound right, but it's fair. At the end of the day, we are judged by what we can put on a chessboard, the game that we can play the product we put on the table. Nobody cares how you got to that point, nobody cares the amount of time it took, if it came easy for you, it should it took less time. So if our our player without the advantage, or without the privilege, or from the upbringing that prevented him from ultimately reaching his potential, wants to continue to achieve and Excel that person would privilege what needs to occur.

We already know inherently, you have to put that work and you have to go harder, you have to figure out a way to carve that time to devote to becoming the ultimate version of yourself. Nobody really cares how you shown up as long as you show up and perform. In corporate America, nobody cares about what you have going on at home. Sometimes they feel empathetic and compassionate and sympathetic, maybe for a loss in a family or some great ordeal. But other than that, nobody cares. The childhood you had, nobody cares if your mom yelled at you. Nobody cares if you're in college, and you have to work two jobs to take care of your rent, your daily expenses, and even your tuition. Some people may have it easier.

Some people may may have taken care of that through their parents or through scholarship. Nobody cares. What are your grades? What is your civic participation? What is your volunteerism, what is your student activities. So when I say nobody cares, I'm also giving you an opportunity to understand how you can accelerate how you can make the things that you climb on, not stumble over, be your strength. And as you understand that these are opportunities for you to continue to refine not only your process, not only your life, but the way that you approach all things. I get it, nobody cares, I get it. That's tough. Nobody really cares. Every single person climbs the ladder and the second that you invalidate somebody else's quest to get to this moment.

You're at a disadvantage. It Sounds like when people try to go so deeply into their story, not only are they're making themselves an excuse, but it sounds like it sounds like you want the pity of the world. Now, at no point in this conversation have I said that certain things in society don't exist, am I I'm not saying that certain things don't have a gravity to themself that you must find out a way to be weightless, unhinged, unconstrained from and the second that you can operate from net domain light as a feather light hearted, with the capacity to find that time to put in the hours to find that strategic advantage to find that way that we can think thinking strategically to overcome that obstacle we become more than would have ever been possible when we allow our story to be fuel in our tank to be propulsion that adds to the composite of who we are.

Nobody, nobody can stand in our way. So early on, it may look like a disadvantage, but it is your ultimate advantage if you learn how to utilize it and harness it because nobody cares. They care how you show up, they care about the product you put on a table. They care about the results they want. A lot of times we want the answers and we don't care about the process that got you there. But the process that gets you there will get you ahead of everybody else because you'll understand the story that you've come from. So stop comparing yourself to other people's wealth, stop comparing yourself to other people's privilege stop looking to be pitied or felt sorry for and use it as your advantage.

Look for the advocate. You know what to say so this has been another episode of halftime talks. It's a it's a concept that I'll say i i feel very passionate about because you have something to share with the world. Don't let it trip you up, let it be what accelerates you to whole new heights and whole new levels.