---
title: "The Reverse Mentor"
description: "For anyone with a mentor who discounts what they bring to the table."
author: "Rahim Rasul"
type: "Podcast episode"
series: "Halftime Talks"
episode: 71
published: "2015-12-01"
duration: "13 min"
theme: "Work and mentors"
tags: "mentorship, reverse mentorship, reciprocity, value"
audio: "https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/rahimrasul/HTT071_ReverseMentor.mp3?dest-id=175061"
url: "https://iloveprocess.com/halftime/the-reverse-mentor/"
site: "I Love Process"
---

# The Reverse Mentor

_For anyone with a mentor who discounts what they bring to the table._

**The question:** What skills, insights, value, perspective, energy can you provide?

Listen: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/rahimrasul/HTT071_ReverseMentor.mp3?dest-id=175061

## Before you listen

Conversations on mentorship usually revolve around the value of getting one, and once we're in those relationships the value can become a little lopsided. No coin is one sided, and the highway has two lanes. Both people have value to share, and it can be a win-win.

I first came across the idea through Tim Ferriss, and it sent me to my journal to question my own relationship with it. If you have a mentor, you have to bring something to the party too, maybe a fresh perspective with no historical footprint, or a curiosity that had gone missing. I have mentors in college and across the spectrum, and what I get from them is passion and hunger, a reminder that the world is still my oyster.

Listen for the reminder near the end: the mentor owes you nothing, and without traffic in both directions you become a taker. Look for your value in things common to you that aren't commonplace to others. It's there.

## From the talk

> You as well have to bring something to the party for it to work out.
>
> The mentor owes you nothing. Their reasons for helping you are their own.
>
> When it's a fountain that you can both drink from is when it works the best.

## Sit with this

- Why are they helping you?
- Am I fulfilling the expectation of the task they're setting upon me?
- How can I make this a win win for both of us?

## Transcript

So in today's episode, what we're going to be talking about is an idea that I first was introduced to through author, Best Selling Author and podcaster and all around life experimenter, Tim Ferriss and it opened me up to at least begin to go into my journal and question the subject and question my relationship with it. And challenge me. And I thought it'd be appropriate to share it with you know, if you've read the title of this podcast, you know, what we're going to be talking about is this idea of the reverse mentor. I have a few mentors that don't really look at it that way, but you can call them mentors in my life right now. And one of the things that I I think goes unrecognized, in the whole relationship process is that there's two sides to the coin.

Often we overshadow the side of mentorship with what the person with the experience has to give this person without the experience early on in my life I I've come to understand that mentorship is this ability to see in somebody aspects of what we wish to be present in our current experiences. And there's a couple booby traps that go along with mentoring is like taking in too much of that person's life, when you should only really be trying to focus in on what makes that part of them great, because then an effect. If they show a flaw, you end up throwing the baby out with the bathwater. But that's not the subject of this podcast, we're talking about reverse mentorships. And so as I work with mentors, and I seek those mentorship relationships, this idea of reverse mentorship makes absolute sense.

So for an individual with a mentor, be it conversations meetups apprenticeship, however the relationship is structured. What you must understand is that you as well have to bring something to the party for it to work out or else Somebody is really just given a time away for to be an equitable relationship, both people have to eat. Now, you may ask yourself, and this is what I ultimately want to challenge you with today, I want you to ask yourself, what skills, insights value perspective, energy can you provide? Now, depending on where people are in their careers a life, that fresh perspective is something that you definitely can offer, you have no ties, no historical footprint, where they are. And so one thing that they value, and as a mentor that I value isn't doozy as them, it makes me feel that you fullness, spark up and rise up by seeing the questions to curiosities, the vectors of you approaching a classically thought of IDEA differently.

Other things that you may provide is a perspective that your generation has a relationship to the subject. So what you can do is break the habitual mold of the thinking that the reverse mentor may have, you may have more time, and you may be able to do something for them that normally they may not have been able to do for themselves, you may just bring a level of curiosity that has been missing, you give them life with your passion. So understand that the mentor relationship is two ways. And while you may be discounting, all the work that you bring to the table, don't. And understand that there's two sides to the coin. And both of you are there to consume something. And as you grow and develop, it stops being that hierarchical.

I mispronounced that relationship. And it and it's looked at from a perspective of value, and being appear. Now I have mentors in college, I have mentors who were young, I have mentors across the spectrum. And the biggest thing that I get from them is this passion and this hunger. And it reminds me about a time when I felt limitless to when the world was my oyster. And it reminds me that it still is limitless, and the world is my oyster. Now. We all have that image that we want to grow into. And the idea of the reverse mentor is something that you begin, you can begin to recognize that's going on right now in those mentorship relationships. You need to ask yourself, why are they helping you?

Am I fulfilling the expectation of the task they're setting upon me? How can I make this a win win for both of us. And if we begin from this perspective, to understand that, be it a relationship between mentors or a relationship with clients, or relationship with the economy or relationship with the job market. It has to be an equitable win, when nobody's in the business of doing favors, because that gets old really quick. When it's a fountain that you can both drink from is when it works the best. One last thing to keep in mind is that the mentor owes you nothing. Their reasons for helping you are their own, they have determined that they themselves in a situation are givers. And without two directions of traffic.

You are a taker and nobody likes takers. So ask yourself, what can you be of service to this individual who is sharing their insights, sharing their perspectives, inevitably giving you jewels that you may advance light years as a result of the experiences, the the ways of thinking the attitudes, the ways of looking at problems that this mentor is sharing with you. Inevitably, you will not truly see the value of some of the insights that mentor has to offer until you're faced any activity in the throes of Life. So, number one, recognize the gift of it. Number two, recognize it's a two way street. Like right now you could know things of technology, things of social innovation, things of access and resources that may be common to you but may not be commonplace. to others.

Your value can be there. If you look for, I guarantee it's there. The mentor and the reverse mentor can meet in a happy medium where both feel fulfilled both feel better than they would have without this relationship in place. And as your challenge because the more adept you are at identifying this, I guarantee the deeper, more meaningful interactions you'll come away with. They'll show you behind the curtain in new dimensions than you ever thought was possible. So this is some food for thought. Halftime talks, reverse mentorship. Let's go and make sure you go to iTunes subscribe rate and review us. I don't say this because I love the way it sounds I say this, for those listening to go to iTunes, hit the write a review tab. Share your thoughts good, bad, indifferent. Doesn't matter. Just get up there and do it right now.